Unexpected Surprises
by MidnightWriter99
Summary: Shepard has saved her crew and the galaxy more than once, and the crew of the Normandy think it's about time they did something for her in return, after all, she hasn't had a proper birthday in over two years. Crew Team shenanigans. Fill for KMeme.


_Prompt: Its Shepard's birthday and the whole crew is plotting to do something nice for the commander. I mean, he/she only saved the galaxy and all, no big deal, so I would really like to see the crew going ALL OUT to help show their commander a little love. I want crazy shenanigans to happen, like the whole crew plotting together and trying to keep the party a secret, maybe even going so far as to getting Shepard to the 14 hour elcor Hamlet showing run random food at every major planet because damn those pesky aliens and their specific food. I would prefer FemShep, but whatevers fine really authoranons._**  
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**Unexpected Surprises, Sneaky Shenanigans**

Garrus and Tali weren't quite sure why they'd been called down into the cargo bay in the middle of the night shift. It had been four days since their 'suicide' mission through the Omega 4 relay; everyone had come out of it alive. Battered to hell and back, but alive.

They were heading to Illium, as Shepard had refused to take the Normandy to be patched up on "that fucking pisshole of a space station"- Omega. The crew had been working almost around the clock to get as much fixed up as possible before they arrived, so the cargo bay, and the rest of the ship was looking significantly better than it had a few days ago.

Kelly, Gardner, Kasumi and quite a number of the crew were standing around the bay controls when they finally got downstairs.

"Ok, what is going on?" Tali asked as the two approached the group. "This kind of feels like going behind Shepard's back."

"This isn't a malicious going behind her back." Kelly explained. "All of us want to put something together for her birthday next week."

"We figured after everything she's done for us, we could all do something for her." Kasumi said walking around to her team mates. "And considering that Chakwas put her under sedation for failing to sleep for the past forty eight hours, we figured now would be a good time to start conspiring."

"That's actually a great idea." Tali said crossing her arms over.

"I agree." Garrus added. "I would guess she hasn't had a proper birthday in about three years?"

"I think so. We were chasing down Saren about this time three years ago." Tali confirmed for him.

"Exactly." Kelly has a big smile on her face now.

"Ok, what do you have in mind?" Garrus asked the crew members in front of him.

"Since the crew deck was the least damaged in the run through the relay" Gardner said to them, stepping forward. "We're thinking make a tonnes of food, decorate the crap out of the mess."

"I was also thinking of contacting Miss T'Soni as we're going to Ilium for the repairs." Kelly added.

Tali nodded her head in agreement. "I think Shepard would like that."

"The only problem is getting all this past her!" Gardner boomed. "The Commander knows every damn thing that goes on in this ship, _and_ we have to keep her distracted all day to get everything cooked and set up"

"You're meant to be a tactical expert Garrus" Tali turned to her friend with amusement. "Figure out a way."

"Yes, being a vigilante for two years prepared me for this situation exactly." Garrus replied back sarcastically. "But I think I can figure something out."

* * *

><p>"Are you <em>sure<em> you don't require some help, Jack?"

"Shut the fuck up before I kick your green ass up and down the cargo bay."

Thane, Kasumi and Zaeed looked on as Jack stood on Grunts shoulders (with the Krogan holding onto her legs, stabilising them) as she tried to knock open one of the panels just to the side of the beams in the port cargo bay. Thane and Kasumi had smuggled in the decorations and non-perishable food for the party, and EDI had located a small area in the ceiling where they could store it, so Shepard wouldn't stumble across any of it.

"EDI are you sure it moves?" Kasumi asked

"Yes." EDIs voice came over the comms "Jack just has difficulty with things she cannot blast open."

"Fuck you!" She yelled back, trying to get a better grip on the panel again.

"Less talking more moving." Zaeed yelled back at her. "Before goddamn Shepard comes back down here and we have explaining to do."

"Got it!" Jack cried triumphantly as she lifted the panel up, revealing the space. "Ok, start passing me shit."

Thane and Kasumi moved to hand her the various boxes which were all able to fit into the space with some room to spare, just as EDI had estimated.

"Hey guys." It was Joker on the comms this time. "Shepard's about to hit deck four, you better hurry up."

"You could have told us a few minutes ago!" Kasumi called back through he open comm.

"Yeah, well, she is hard to keep track of. Get movin'" Joker said back before cutting the connection.

"Shit, I do _not _have time to close this!" She struggled, trying to close the space up again.

_"Commander." _They could hear Samara from the corridor as Thane quickly jumped from the ground, off Grunts shoulder and into the compartment, pulling the panel down and holding it in place.

"_Daniels and Donnelly have informed me that the shielding is fully powered down, and they and Tali will be monitoring from engineering, and EDI, Legion and Joker from the AI core and CIC."_ They heard the Asari continue.

"Over to the pod!" Jack hissed at the Krogan. "We're 'fixing it, ok. It's extra slanty or some shit!"

_"Great." _Shepard's voice echoed back. i_"Miranda and Jacob are already out on the dock, I just need to find Jack, walk with me for a sec."_

Zaeed busied himself to make it look like he was actually investigating the tank as Kasumi went dark and moved behind it.

"Hey Grunt have you- what the hell?" Shepard raised an eyebrow as she walked through the door to the port cargo, followed by Samara. "You guys right in here?"

"Right as fucking rain." Zaeed called back. "Grunts tank got a little banged up in the relay run, and head-butting the thing didn't help fix it apparently."

"Yeah, shits a bit off." Jack said with a nudge to the side of the tank.

"Can you get off my shoulders now?" Grunt asked with a scowl on his face. "Crazy human."

Jack shrugged and smacked his hands away from her legs so she could jump to the ground.

"Right…" Shepard said slowly. "Leave the boys to it. I need you outside to help get this new plating on. With four biotics we should get them on quicker than it would usually take."

"Fine, whatever, you losers have fun." Jack gave a wave as she followed Shepard out of the room, Samara glanced at the tank and then the ceiling with a small smile creeping onto her face, she exited the room as well.

"That was close." Kasumi said from behind the tank.

"Indeed." Thane said, dropping back to the floor. "Perhaps that is why we were asked to do this job."

"Let's just finish this up before anyone else waltzes down 'ere" Zaeed commented, looking at the open panel again.

"Thane, give me a boost?" Kasumi asked.

He gave her a nod and she stepped up onto his hands and he pushed her upwards as high as possible towards the ceiling. "And that should do it." She slid and locked the panel back into place within a few seconds and dropped back down to the ground.

"Good." Grunt said with an annoyed look to all of them. "I've had enough of aliens trampling through my room today."

* * *

><p>"You know, this is kind of fun." Ken said to his crew mates as they all sat around on the floor of port cargo putting together decorations, as Grunt slept in the pod behind them.<p>

"Grunt said he'd eat us if we wake him up." Gabby replied. "How will that be fun for you?"

Kelly rolled her eyes at the both of them. "We haven't got that much left, I do not want to be Krogan chow."

"Miss Chambers." EDIs voice came softly over the Comms. "Shepard is in the elevator coming down to the engineering deck."

"Shit. Shit, _shit._" Hawthrone swore from the corner of the room. "They were all finished for the day, I swear."

"EDI, kill the lights." Kelly told the AI, who quickly complied. "Everyone, get below the windows."

They waited in silence for a good five minutes before Kelly spoke again. "Can you tell what she's doing EDI?"

"Finishing up the diagnostics for repairs tomorrow."

"We need to get her out of here…" Kelly pondered. "Can you get Garrus to come down please EDI, and let him know the situation?"

"Done."

* * *

><p>"You are such a hypocrite."<p>

Shepard turned around from the console in the cargo bay, unamused. "Excuse you?"

"You." Garrus started. "Tell us all to go and get some rest, we can finish he last few bits in the morning and you are still awake."

"I." Shepard shot back. "Am the Commanding officer of this ship and get to do that."

Shepard side-eyed him as he made his way to her side at the console. "Seriously though, Shepard." He said to her. "I'm worried about you. You look exhausted."

She finally stopped and leant against the console. "I _am_ exhausted. I just – I can't stop seeing that damn human reaper." She shuddered. "If it's not one thing it's another."

"I know what you mean on that one." Garrus said with a nudge to her shoulder. "But you can't avoid sleep forever."

"Unfortunately." She replied finally turning to look at him. "You aren't leaving until I go are you?"

"You got it."

"Hmm." She pondered. "I will go on one condition." He gave her a questioning look. "You come upstairs with me."

"All you had to do was ask." He told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to lead her back to the elevator, and to block her view of the windows into the port cargo.

The crew members upstairs exhaled as they watched the two leave the cargo bay.

"Bloody Garrus." Ken mumbled. "Five minutes and he can talk the most stubborn woman in the galaxy out of the room. I don't know how he does it!"

"Kenneth." Gabby said exasperated. "Your jealousy is showing."

Ken glared back at the crew as snorts of laughter echoed around the room.

* * *

><p>Commander Jane Shepard hadn't had the best morning. She'd woken early to a huge <em>bang<em> that had shaken her entire cabin. They were on their fourth day of repairs, and according to EDI the work on the lower deck had started early today. She didn't even want to know what was causing the noise. At that point she'd just gotten up, changed and gone to meet Tali and Garrus down in the mess.

"Tell me we don't have a huge list of things to do today." Shepard asked her two team mates as she entered the mess and gone to grab something for breakfast.

"We don't have a huge list of things to do today." Garrus replied sarcastically in between bites of his food.

Tali slide a datapad over to Shepard as she joined them at the table with her energy bar and glass of juice. "It looks like a fun day."

"Holy crap." She commented, scrolling through the list on the datapad. "This is everything on every other run we have ever done."

"Pretty much." Garrus commented. "But if we get it all done, we don't have to worry about it for a while. Everything will just be_ done_."

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, I think after today I won't have any trouble sleeping later on."

"That's good, I don't think Chakwas wants to go through sedating you again." Tali said with a laugh. "You're a terrible patient."

"Not terrible. Non-compliant." Mordin commented as he entered the mess. "Inability to listen to medical recommendations."

"Thanks Mordin." Shepard said, as Tali and Garrus started quietly laughing beside her.

* * *

><p>"Long day Commander?" Joker asked her when the three of them entered through the airlock.<p>

_"You cannot be serious." Shepard was exasperated as hell. "This part-" she waved the datapad at Garrus and Tali "Clearly does not exist on this planet."_

"_I swear we saw them last time!" Tali replied turning to Garrus. "Right?" _

"_Right." The turian confirmed. "Maybe that Salarian over in Azuga markets has one?"_

"_Those are the ones half an hour back that way aren't they?" Shepard asked, biting her lip. _

_The two just nodded as they set off again.  
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"You could say that." She replied with a sigh.

"I'll meet you two downstairs in a bit alright?" Garrus gave her a nod and he and Tali headed towards the back of the CIC and the elevator.

"Status report for the repairs Joker?" Shepard asked her helmsman.

"Almost done Commander, probably only about a day or so left – including the paint job." Joker replied.

"Glad to hear it." Shepard said leaning against the back of Jokers chair. "I'm very much looking forward to having those damn Cerberus logos off my ship."

"You and me both." Joker said, as he started running another system maintenance program.

Shepard made her way through the CIC to the lift, thinking she'd grab one of her biotic energy drinks from the Mess before going back upstairs to change. "I'm sorry Shepard, the lift is unable to go to the crew deck, or engineering for the next 30 minutes. Due to final maintenance checks." EDI told her as she hit the console for Deck 3.

Shepard let out a groan and hit the button for her quarters. "Let me know when the lift can go down there again please EDI?"

"Certainly, Commander."

Shepard finally headed downstairs when EDI told her the lift was fully back online. The one thing she truly despised about biotics was that when she was hungry, she was really fucking hungry. Considering the clusterfuck that had been her errand run with Garrus and Tali all day, she hadn't eaten since breakfast.

She'd showered and fixed up her hair and make-up out of boredom (and to avoid her bed, she knew once she put her head down she'd be gone) before throwing on some jeans a blank tank and a jacket. She hadn't even bothered with shoes she was so damn tired.

As she exited the lift, the lights flickered and went dark, only a few emergency lights on the floor were still active. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." She said to herself. _Birthdays are always ridiculously shit. _

"EDI, what the hells happened?" She called to the AI as she rounded the wall into the mess.

"_Surprise!_"

Shepard's heart rate jumped to a million miles an hour and her biotics flared down her arms as the lights turned back on and she saw her entire crew and team staring back at her, yells of "Happy birthday!" echoing through the mess.

She was absolutely speechless as she looked at the Mess, covered in streamers, balloons floating around the ceiling and a big colourful banner hanging over the stairs to the main battery with 'Happy Birthday Shepard!' written across it. The crew were standing around the tables had been rearranged into one giant table with just food _everywhere_.

"Holy fuck." She was still trying to calm her heart rate but more so her biotics.

"It's a party not an attack." A familiar voice said into her ear.

"Liara!" She cried as her friend starting pushing her towards the counter, and the crew starting singing _'Happy birthday to you!' _"What are you- what – oh my _god_"

Those were her last words as everyone moved aside and she saw the cake on the mess counter. It was a replica of the Normandy. As a cake. With a birthday message written in place of the name down the side. She finally had to start wiping the tears that were falling down her face as the crew finished singing.

"Stop crying and blow out the damn candles!" Jack called from her left, which set Shepard and half the crew off laughing.

"Make a wish and then blow out the candles." Kelly corrected, grinning at the glare Jack threw her, Shepard leant over and blew them all out.

"You guys shouldn't have done all this!" Shepard said, trying to hold more tears back as Liara gave her a one armed hug.

"Yeah we should have Commander." Gabby called out to her.

"You only came and got all of us from the collector base."

"_All of us._"

"And then got us back out through the relay."

"-A_nd_ saved the galaxy!"

"Again."

"Yeah, well, I like to think it was a team effort." She smiled at her crew and team as Gardner started ushering people towards the tables.

"From what I have seen today, so was this." Liara told her as Shepard started to receive hugs and handshakes from the crew.

* * *

><p>It was almost Midnight when Shepard, Tali and Garrus were the only ones left awake, and were lounging about in the observation deck. The crew and most of her team had wandered off to bed, slightly drunk and exhausted from everything.<p>

Tali was leaning against Garrus' right shoulder, while Shepard was sitting to his left, resting her legs across his lap and poking Tali with her bare toes.

"I want to know." Shepard said to the two of them. "Whose fantastic idea it was to distract me with the biggest to-do list ever."

"Garrus."

He frowned at the Quarian resting on his shoulder. "It's nice to know you'll sell me out so quickly."

"I should have known." She gave him a smirk. "Garrus Vakarian, scapegoat of distraction."

"I can't take all the credit." He said with a laugh. "Couldn't have complied such a thorough list without EDIs help. Couldn't have done any of this everyone."

"I feel far too spoiled." She leant back against the chair, adjusting her legs to a more comfortable position over Garrus' lap and nudged Tali with her exposed foot again. "I can't believe you all did this on top of all the crap we've had to do getting the Normandy back up to scratch."

"Well you've always taken the time to help all of us out on top of everything you do, we just did the same." Garrus shrugged accidently nudging Talis head.

"Oh!" Tali sat up and looked at the Turian next to her. "I need to go and get that _thing._"

Garrus gave her a nod and she quickly exited the room.

"The thing?"

"We have things now, deal with it Shepard."

She gave him a light punch to the arm. "Fuck your things. I've had enough surprises for my second lifetime in the past few months."

"Too bad." He teased as Tali came back onto the deck carrying a metal case.

"This-" Tali held the case out to her, -is from Garrus and myself."

"Happy Birthday." Garrus added in from beside her.

"Is it going to explode?" She asked, getting a laugh from both of them as she swung her legs back down to in front of her to lean the case on her lap. "Seriously you two, you shouldn't have gotten me anything."

"Just open it." Garrus prodded her.

Shepard lifted the lid, opening the case to reveal a refurbished and modded to all hell version of her Tornado X shotgun she used to have.

"Holy shit." She gasped. "_Holy shit_ I have missed this gun."

"It's fully upgraded to work with the thermal clips now." Tali explained.

"Ok, one more birthday tradition I have to evoke right here." Shepard said, putting the case down on the floor in front of her. "And that is hugging the crap out of both of you."

She turned to the Quarian on her right and pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you." She said quietly and quickly pressed a kiss to the side of Talis helmet.

"Really? More hugging?" Garrus teased as she released the Quarian from her arms.

"Deal with it Garrus." She replied in a mockingly serious voice and pulled him into a hug as well.

"So Shepard." Tali started as she released Garrus from her grasp. "What did you wish for?"

"You really want to know?" She asked, looking between her two friends.

"I'm kind of curious as to what humans wish for on their birthdays." Garrus chimed in as Tali nodded in agreement.

"Technically I'm not supposed to say, so you can't tell anyone alright?" Shepard told them.

"Of course!" Tali replied eagerly.

"I wished" Shepard exhaled and leaned back onto the seat "for everyone to be here, to get together again, after we've kicked the Reapers to dark space and back."


End file.
